The last year of high school is overwhelming for many students and parents. While students are busy taking entrance exams, completing their college applications and waiting for acceptance letters, parents are anxiously trying to figure out how to pay for it all. For some families, there will be difficult conversations that may result in a few dreams being crushed, but for those that plan ahead, the college planning process can be much smoother. Here are some things for parents to consider when starting the college conversation with their children.
Decide When and What to Share
Because every family dynamic is different, there’s no set time to start the college conversation. Having a frank conversation about expectations and finances prior to junior year can save both parents and students a lot of heartache. ‘Some families are more open than others, and there are levels of comfort, family structure and cultural differences when it comes to discussing finances,’ suggests Dick Joseph, a college planning expert from MVP College Funding. Susie Watts, the founder of College Direction, however, gives this advice to parents, ‘I think a discussion of this kind can take place when a student is a sophomore or junior in high school. Before that, I don’t believe it has much meaning.’
When it comes to sharing family financial information with students, experts differ on what should be revealed. ‘Some families have a very fixed limit on what they will contribute,’ states Joseph, ‘the families I have dealt with have never given a specific amount that they are willing contribute because they have no idea where the child will go.’ Even though parents may not know where their children will eventually enroll for college, it’s still important to look at the family’s financial well-being and be honest about what they may be able to afford. ‘I think parents should discuss the expenses involved in a college education and ask their child how they could contribute,’ says Watts. ‘I don’t think they need to provide any documentation on their family finances, but explain how families do pay for college and have an open conversation about their honest thoughts on the subject.’
![Discussing College Costs]( "Discussing College Costs")
Talk About College Costs
Many students (and parents) do not understand that the cost of attendance (COA) is more than tuition and fees. It’s important for families to review all college expenses, including housing, meals and even transportation. Although the list price of a college may seem out of reach, families should beware of sticker shock and understand that the actual price of college may be much lower. ‘COA is a very misleading number because the more important information to know is how much a school typically awards to students,’ says Joseph. ‘I tell families to forget about the COA until they know what the financial aid award will be.’ Families are encouraged to complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) and to apply for institutional financial aid. Other sources of gift aid, such as private grants and scholarships, can also reduce the out-of-pocket expenses for families. ‘It is important that parents understand and convey to their teenager the different ways that families pay for college: merit scholarships, loans, work-study, campus jobs, etc.,’ urges Watts. ‘I believe that parents should allow their child to look at colleges with a wide range of costs, but they also need to be clear that not all of these choices may be possible; a lot will be dependent on financial aid and scholarships.’
Discuss Expectations
It’s important for parents to give students ownership of the college planning process; students should understand how college expenses will be covered and know that they will be responsible for their academic success. ‘I think it’s most important for the kids to understand that college is completely different from high school. You are on your own. You have to take responsibility for being where you are supposed to be and on time,’ suggests Joseph. ‘Homework is not optional, yet nobody is on your back to get it done. Pick a school where the student knows that they will be able to perform at his or her best….right size, right location, right student body make-up, right curriculum and many other criteria.’ Parents should also consider having their children participate in the college savings process, too. ‘Teens should be encouraged to get summer jobs and contribute what they earn to their college expenses,’ says Watts. ‘I believe that when children contribute financially to their college education, they take their academics more seriously and do better than students who have all college costs taken care of by their family.’
Paying for college is a large part of the college discussion, but parents should also encourage students to look at other factors that are important, such as their current academic schedule and college entrance exams. ‘One thing I recommend all parents discuss with their child before he or she begins high school is the significance of challenging courses, highest grades and SAT and ACT test scores, and the importance of community service,’ says Watts. ‘This will give them the best college admission and scholarship opportunities possible.’
Although there is no set age when parents should start the college conversation, it’s a good idea to approach the subject once students begin high school. When students share in the college planning process, they not only feel empowered, but also have more realistic expectations about what their families can afford. Nothing is more devastating to a student than working hard in high school, being accepted to a dream college and then finding out their family cannot afford it. A frank conversation before junior year may help reduce the likelihood that parents will have to face the hard decision of taking on debt or crushing their child’s dream.